From the very bottom of my heart, where all the good things are supposed to live, I always knew They were somewhere out there, heck maybe even beneath the pale moonlight our friend Fievel is always singing about. Only less in the way that someone out there is loving me and thinking of me tonight, and more in the way of knowing there are millions of microscopic dust mites crawling all over pretty much everything everywhere, all of the time. You just can’t see them.

And just like with dust mites, often it’s easier to pretend they don’t exist, to avoid thinking about them, than to acknowledge the map of the country we live in is dotted with racists, misogynists, bigots, white supremacists and haters of all kind. But just like dust mites, these people are not unique to America. Though it might sometimes feel like it, they weren’t created by this election. They were always there, they’ve always been there, they will probably always be there in some form or another. But now we can actually see them crawling out of the woodwork of America’s foundation because someone, someone two shakes of a lamb tail away from a powerful position, is telling them it’s okay to express hatred toward someone because of how they look, where they are from, or what they believe in. It’s okay, encouraged even, to shout your hatred from the rooftop, in fact, why don’t you help us build a giant wall, and we can all shout it from there, letting our hate spittle drop down on all those bad hombres beneath us?

Yes, just like those dust mites, these fuckers are absolutely terrifying up close. (Seriously, Google one before you go to sleep tonight. Then read about where they live. Sweet dreams.)

Now here’s where some of you might scratch your head: If there’s one thing me and the Human Dust Mites can agree upon, it’s that they absolutely should vote for Trump.

Hear me out.

I can’t erase all the hate in the hearts of the people in America, and I am done pretending it doesn’t exist. I can’t change the minds of those who thrive on this hate, and I will definitely never understand the evil that drives them. But what I can understand is why the members of the Hate Squad would choose Trump over Clinton. He aligns (way, like way, way, way, all of the ways) more with their values. I can’t fault them for that. I won’t fault them for that. I mean, isn’t that exactly why I’m With Her?

What makes America so Great is that everyone has the right to fight for what they believe in. Even if they believe in some really, really BAD, questionable shit. Because one person’s really, really BAD, questionable shit may very well be another person’s definition of super GOOD shit. That’s sort of how this whole thing goes. And though these racists, bigots, misogynists, white supremacist Human Dust Mites might be the absolute worst kind of people, they are not the worst kind of Trump supporters. At least they actually believe in everything he stands for (no matter how terrifying that stance is).

No, the worst Trump supporters are those that just can’t stand to see a Democrat in the White House. No, no, NO, not again. Not another four years! They have had ENOUGH. The people who would downright vote for the Devil himself if he declared loyalty to the Republican Party, find ways to pardon his past, questioning the souls he stole instead of the Devil himself, squawking about how terrible Johnny is after the Devil Went Down to Georgia. These people are the worst kind of Trump supporters.

Yes, I am talking to you.

Some highly respected Republican politicians can’t even bring themselves to back Trump. Why do you feel the need? Is it about religion? I thought the seven deadly sins were supposed to be frowned upon, not celebrated, crowned, promoted. Maybe because of your conservative values? Can you honestly look me in the face and tell me you think Donald Trump gives two shits about any of those? With all his divorcing and womanizing and pussy grabbing (yeah, I said it) and vanity and greed and hate speech? Yes, his million dollar self-portraits simply scream conservative.

Not either of those? What is it then? Have you let actually let hate for someone else (name starts with an H) burrow so deep into your soul, that you let it control everything that makes you, you? So deep you have forgotten your own common sense, your own virtues, your own morals? Are you really willing to forgive the sins of another that, under any other circumstance, you would consider so deplorable, so revolting, so un-Christian if that person weren’t running for President under the party in which you support?

The Republican Party might represent your values and everything you stand for. But I assure you (though I shouldn’t have to be the one to do that), Donald Trump does not.

This is not the election to dig your heels in. This is not about you and what you want. This isn’t even about politics anymore and it hasn’t been since the primaries. This is about the person we are electing to best represent who we are as Americans, the face of our country. This about straight-up human decency.

Yes, Hillary has done some shitty things governmentally. But she’s not an overall shitty human being. And you don’t have to like her or the Democratic Party. You don’t have to like liberals or abortion or the environment or hippies or drive a Toyota Prius or whatever you think the other side stands for. No one is asking you to do that. I would never ask you to do that, because I know that’s not who you are. And you can tell yourself all you want that you are voting against Hillary, and not for Trump. But you also need to accept that a vote against Hillary is a vote for Hate. A vote for Bigotry. Your vote against Hillary is a vote for Human Dust Mites.

But that’s not what you believe in. That’s not who you are. That’s not what you stand for.

Unless, of course…it is.

And if it is, I stand corrected.

By all means, Vote for Trump.