After years of tripping and stomping and kicking and scrambling, I regret to inform you I’ve reached a point where, yes, I will pay extra for that.
To not have to worry about space
To not have to find a place
To not have to wait in line
To not have to waste any more time
What does this say about me? Does it matter? Nah, John Craigie says, you’re doing it wrong, dissecting the bird trying to find the song. Life’s a journey. For example, I never used to understand annuals. Why on earth would I spend hard earned cash on something that is just gonna die, like, pretty soon? Seems strange. Perennials only for me, man. Then I discovered those have a shelf life at my house too. And the time, the effort, the shame that courses through your body trying to keep those motherfuckers alive in this climate, it’s almost too much to bear. Next year? I have a plan for annuals. An annual plan.
A plan I came up with last night stretched out in my hammock, something called the Throne. I’m not kidding. I saw it on Shark Tank by way of Instagram, and y’all, I love a hammock, but they are not made for backyard areas the size of mine. When I saw this invention, GENIUS, I thought. Quickly followed by HOLY SHIT, WHY DOES IT COST 8 MILLION DOLLARS??!? Probably because it’s perfect. And just what I need. NEED. Turns out, I will fork over 8 MILLION DOLLARS to solve a problem I’ve had on my mind for three years. Like having my own personal mathematician or scientist or engineer is the word I believe I’m looking for.
Paying for convenience. Would my Dad be horrified? Maybe 30 year old Dad of four, but I think almost 70 year old Pops is right there with me. I mean, I didn’t get here on my own. How else do you think I discovered kickstarters and Indiegogo and my penchant for gadgets? We appreciate creative minds, especially ones who can execute a vision.
And listen. We came from a certain place. Place 1 and Place 2. So far away, but right next door. Same house even, sometimes. And we says to ourselves, I don’t know what I want, but I don’t want this. So we do what we do, are we who are, take pride in our path. Look at where we are, but look at where we started from. The journey’s all yours to take, we both roar.
But from opposite corners of the room.
Waiting for our ride | Bingen, Washington
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the other fork in the road 
Nice to see someone else appreciates John Craigie. “Do yourself a favor and don’t go looking at the pictures on my phone…”
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My biggest indulgence is having a weekly cleaner for four hours a week. She is an amazing single parent of a 15-year old son, She can fix anything, and loves to do so. In four hours a week, she does a much, much better job than I could so in 10 or 12 hours. She’s Polish, is very proud of the fact that she is able to earn a decent living without support from either the state or her former partner. She actually really enjoys cleaning because it’s challenging physical work and she loves to see the difference which this makes to her customers. She has become my closest friend, and we do periodic outings somewhere nice: galleries, swimming, a sculpture park, etc. I introduced her to hiking, camping, and wild swimming. She makes my life sweeter and more enjoyable. I actually don’t mind cleaning, but Iwona does it so much better than I do, and frees up my time to do other things. When I feel it’s selfish and lazy to pay someone else to do work which I can do myself, I think about the fact that without me and her other self-indulgent customers, she wouldn’t be able to support herself and her son without relying on the state or her unpleasant ex-partner.
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